I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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