She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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