We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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