It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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