Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
