So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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