I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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