My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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