Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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