Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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