I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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