At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
