You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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