you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
