Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
