Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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