Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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