I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
