okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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