Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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