I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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