I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There's always time for handjobs
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
