One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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