I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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