I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
