do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
