My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
