she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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