Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
