I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize