I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize