no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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