Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
