she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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