the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
