it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
