Cold hands, warm shart.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
