i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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