Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
