I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
