How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
