i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize