He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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