I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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