Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
