Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is Oprah even human
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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