Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
