sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
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No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
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I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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