apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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