i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
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hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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