For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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