She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
