Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I look better un-naked...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
