i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
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but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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