Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So much rum. So many feels.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
