I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
